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Dating apps and websites have become the most popular way Americans meet new people and the only way to do so during the pandemic. Yet, for many Black Americans, these apps never fulfill their promises.

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My Saturday column on interracial dating for black women drew the expected invective from online commenters.

Readers comment on interracial dating

The end point of my column was that single, middle-class black women ought not to limit their dating prospects to black men from a shrinking eligibility pool. Perhaps I ought to introduce her to one of the many non-black men who ed and described the black women they dated or married as beautiful, interesting, strong, smart, exciting….

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For them, and most other readers who wrote, the central issue was not race, but the challenge of finding and keeping a loving mate. From a white women who never married and still regrets turning down a date with a black classmate 40 years ago.

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She worried about what her Alabama-bred family would say. She wonders today if that man might have been her soul mate.

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Think about it. But our wish lists may not take into the realities of the dating field.

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That black woman who wrote about her marriage to an Asian man? Unless you are a single, professionally successful, middle-aged woman. And then the focus just might be: Who is smart and accomplished enough for me?

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That sounds harsh and calculating, but research into relationships suggests she may be right. We are in a similar demographic, forced to calibrate changes in gender roles.

While racial taboos may have eased, changes in society have introduced into our romantic lives so many other complexities. Like every change, there will be losses that we regret. That was reassuring: The odd, the unlucky, the eccentric, the ugly … we were all destined for couple-dom.

Follow your heart, but not toward trouble. Delta variant is sucking the joy out of back-to-school He was a celebrated singer-songwriter with famous fans.

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By Sandy Banks. I always brace myself when I write about race, anticipating the bigots and the haters. Subscribers Are Reading. California Delta variant is sucking the joy out of back-to-school Music He was a celebrated singer-songwriter with famous fans.

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